Monday, April 26, 2010

God in MY Image

We are studying the 10 Commandments at church right now.  It's called Ten Words:  Out of Slavery.  into Freedom.  Great study so far.  I am going to miss a few weeks of it coming up soon but I definitely plan to listen online while I am resting up.  (I just noticed on the resource page that the sermons are not updated.  You can get to them on the home page.)

Yesterday, Pastor Craig discussed the second commandment.
“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.  You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments."  (Exodus 20:4-6)
He explained this in a different way than I have every heard.  He said that the first commandment was the WHAT to worship. . .God alone.  The second commandment was the HOW to worship.  We are not just to have no idols.  We are not to create an imagine of God of any kind.  Any imagine that finite man might make of God would be limited in it's scope because we can't see God.  He is the Creator and the created can't make an accurate image of Him.  In doing so, we miss different aspects of His character.  The only place we can capture all of His character is through His spoken Holy Word.  Ultimately, we see all of God in the earthly form of Jesus Christ where He lived out all attributes of God.  (I do not think that I did his sermon justice at all.  But is what stuck with me.)

I was so convicted as I sat there yesterday.  For two weeks now I have been in and out of depression as I waited for God to move on my behalf and allow my baby to come early.  I had been praying for that for various and stupid reasons.  Although I said that I would accept any answer God gave me to this prayer, my heart didn't reflect it.  The longer I was being made to go, the more angry I was becoming with God for not giving me what I wanted.  In essence, I had created God in MY image.

I was broken.  No longer was I concerned about when my baby came.  My sight turned back to where it needed to be all along.  In glorifying God.  But I was living out James 4:3:
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
My passion was all about finding relief and deliverance from the light and momentary affliction.  I wanted the glory of an early baby.  It was all about ME.

Humbled, I bowed my heart before God and repented right them and there.  I realized that at that moment nothing mattered.  This precious life within me is a gift from God.  She's not an opportunity to receive glory.   This is my opportunity to let God shine in and through me and the delivery that HE chooses to give me.  And so it is.  I have a tremendous since of peace in my heart.  So much more than before.  This is true peace not a fake peace that I tried to have when all along I believed that somehow I controlled things.  No, this is the peace that passes all understanding.  I still wish He'd allow her to come early.  Gracious, I am so uncomfortable right now.  What women doesn't wish an early , yet healthy, baby?  But I no longer feel as if I have to control things any more.  I have moved out of the way and have set my sights on simply giving Him glory and praises, come what may.

I had an appointment with my midwife this afternoon.  Everything looks so favorable for a baby to come.  I am 80% effaced and 2 1/2 cm dilated.  She stripped my membranes to see if that might encourage her.  I am not in the most comfortable place right now.  Lots of contractions but that could simply be from aggravating the cervix during my exam today.  Baby may or may not come tonight.  I am OK either way.  I am resting in His sovereign control.  I am in that state of perfect peace.
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the 
Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.  (Is. 26:3-4)
After the sermon we took communion as a means of celebrating God giving us a visible and tangible way of knowing Him. Through the body and blood of Christ we see the full image of the God of the universe.  While waiting we sang a chorus that I had actually been singing to myself all weekend (attempting to make it true even though I wasn't living it.)  The words have new meaning for now.   All I have IS Christ.  Nothing will ever take that place.  He bore the wrath and all I know is grace.  He is my ONLY boost.    

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