Monday, April 20, 2009

Perspective!!!

I won't go into detail but I was just reading a story written by a mom whose son is autistic. Now, this story has a happy ending but it came through lots of very hard work. I see these stories all the time. Testimonies from moms and dads of their precious children. They are working hard to solve health problems or worse, they are walking them through life threatening health issues. There are stories of moms and dads working with learning disabilities and difficulties. There are families working through unemployment or sometime inadequate employment. Some stories have great ending. Other stories end in tears. Regardless, it seems that many people are turning to the internet and blogs to tell their stories. They bring great perspective to your life's story. Somehow, what you deal with on a daily basis doesn't seem so bad afterall.

Hot Dog's legs continue to either be bad off or simply stay the same. He's still got a very red bottom around his anus. Some days, like today, he's simply red and inflamed. I spent alot of time on the verge of tears today. I want to help this little baby but I just don't know how. God has all of us in a holding pattern. I am taking baby steps to change our diet for the good. I am somewhat enjoying the challenge in that. I am not, however, enjoying the constant complaining or even constant asking of questions. Some child wants this. Another wants this. I felt today as if nothing I do is ever satisfying or appreciated. What mom doesn't feel that way alot of the time? I guess this was just my day.

But the story I read tonight left me thinking that I really don't have it that bad off. My children can function in school and educational settings. They might be a bit behind and we could potentially hit some learning struggles. But even then, our lives are very blessed indeed.

I suppose that is the whole point of our lives though. Nothing is truly as bad is it seems. Underdog called today at remind that everything will be alright. This came right after I cried out to God with my own WHY question. I want to know why God isn't giving me answers to heal my son. WHY?!!!!! He's a baby. Why does my baby have to suffer like this? Underdog gave me ideas. Perhaps he's meant to somehow be a very tough man in his future and he needs things like this to toughen him up. Ok, perhaps. Maybe it's ME that needs to be worked on through this. Possibly. In fact, probable. I am not trusting God through this at all. I admit that. I want to control everything that is going on but I losing this battle. I am doing everything I know do to heal a fungal infection and help with his allergies. Nothing is helping. All the money that I am spending is for not right now. What next? That is where my cry to God can from. What do I do now?

wait!!!!!

That is my answer. I must wait. I can continue to seek out changes for our diet. They will benefit us regardless of what happens with Hot Dog. I will be sanctified through this process. That is probably the best part of it all. Hot Dog will grow to be a tough little guy (he already is). And like all the other things in life that I thought were the worst thing in the world, they will pass away.

Perspective. It's the best medicine for a discouraged heart. I thank my God for perspective. The reminders that He gives always seem to convict and sooth at the same time. Yes, all of this will be alright. He's in control. I just have to believe that and trust that He will work all things for the good.

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