slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.
It's been a long summer and even a long early fall. We started school in late August with different ideas and plans for some areas of school. I had a good schedule. The biggest difference is that I actually had things planned for the little boys (ages 2 and 4) to do for "school" so they would feel like they were a part of the family. Schmoo was also in desperate need of mom's attention so that she could improve in her reading. I had them going pretty good. The bigs are becoming fairly independent in their school work. They just need small parts of mom's time for spelling, writing, and parts of math. And they work so well. The training I have done with them has truly paid off.
Things began to change about 8 weeks ago, though, not far into our school year. Learning that I was pregnant again threw me for a loop. I lost my fervor in reading and teaching. Many things began to fall of. We hit rock bottom last week as I started having complications with the pregnancy and was put on bedrest. I got to see my precious little one earlier this year and also found out that was a further along than I thought. School has been off ever since. But in the midst of this I have had time to evaluate what I am doing. I have still felt so flustered with school. I am not enjoying what I am doing anymore. Nothing seems to have changed since I first wrote about becoming new. But God has a plan in all things.
As I thought back over the years of school I did remember the time when I had the most fun and was most intrigued by our learning. It was about the time I read "Teaching the Trivium" and began to implement some of their ideas. The biggest thing we did from their "What to do Before Age 10" list was to simply read. . .ALOT. This is missing in our family. I have left the reading up to my older kids. Even reading to the little ones has become their responsibility. No wonder I was failing in this. I had left a huge chunk of my parenting up to my older children.
So I have been rethinking school all over again. I know that I am failing my children right now. But I know this in the midst of God moving us toward change. Now that I am on bedrest for a longer period of time, I have to totally rethink my day and how to meet the needs of 6 children plus take care of myself. I am so very thankful that God has provide work for Underdog that keeps him home. Owning his own business has left room for him to be home and help me while I am on bedrest. But it's also giving me time to rework school and move up back toward living out our education and not just following some requirements of the state (which are very limited in our state as we enjoy tremendous freedom in homeschooling.) I want to stop letting what other people do with their schools guide what I do. I want to stop considering what my mom or mothe rn law night think of our school choices. This is OUR school. Underdog and I are still working together to make this work. I am doing most of the reading and then conveying to him what I am learning. He's trusting me in that and making decisions with me.
There is so much more to learn and so many areas that He must continue to make me new again. But I am thankful for His faithfulness in all these changes. I can't wait to see where He takes our school in the next year or so. This will be our last child. I believe that Underdog and I finally feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not that we don't love our children. That is not the case. But we're moving onto the next phase of parenting. I am due next May. Seems appropriate to move into our next phase of life (simply parenting and not adding) in the middle of the season where God does make all things new. I started my motherhood in the spring and I will end this phase of motherhood in the spring. Not only that but we are starting this phase with the number of perfection. . .7. God is gracious, abounding in steadfast love. I am so blessed. I am so blessed.