Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Ok, I have finally hit the "This is no longer fun" stage of bedrest. At first, I was afraid to move around for fear and bleeding to death (yes, I know, I bit overdramatic.) Then I was taking too much liberty with moving around and ended up not moving around that much. In all that, though, I was finding stuff to do with myself. Then came the "I still have to educate my children" stage. We were getting school done and I was excited to be there. This week is the "I'm BORED!!!" stage. It's bad too. I get so bored that I have found myself back on the silly message boards I used to be on early in my motherhood. I don't really like being out there but somehow I think I have fooled myself into believing that somehow I am important enough to answer questions and make intelligent comments to people whose faces I have never seen and I will never see. It's madness, I tell you. Madness.

I was talking to a particular sinful child this afternoon about a sin he seems to be struggling with right now. This sin is related to feeling like he's a big shot because he got to go help at a volunteer function yesterday. His behavior was awesome yesterday but he seemed to have come home with the big head. SOOO, I was discussing how we should be doing our work for the glory of God and not for our own glory. I talked about how seeking glory for ourself is wrong and that God will not share His glory with us. As I am talking I found myself thinking to myself, "Gee, you are the same way. What do you think you are doing on the message boards?" Ouch!!! I am out there totally seeking attention for myself. The reality is that I have absolutely nothing to offer o those type of message boards. There are times when I desperately want to share the gospel BUT the rules of bb won't allow me. What else do you say? I end up not answering those questions or comments. The rest of the time I am just looking for attention and trying to bring glory to me as if somehow I have arrived as queen of motherhood.

The message boards aren't too hard to get off. I usually go through a few days of withdrawal because they did help pass time away. I am going to have to double my efforts in other areas and use my time more wisely. That doesn't help the boredom I feel right now. I think I need to seek the Father to find ways that are better uses of my time. I can only handle so much cutting out of file folder pieces. So what do you do to pass away idle time that might come your way?

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